Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
