He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
