K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
