You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
