I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
