So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
