how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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