Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
