I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
