Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
