Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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