Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
