I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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