Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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