so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
