you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
