its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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