my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
