smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm going to jail i love you
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just invented taco cereal.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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