Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
