hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
