you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
