why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Text me some of your sweat
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