Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
