The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
