Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
