just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
