Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
