ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
