All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
