When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
