Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
