Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
