I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
