he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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