People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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