Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
did i walk over a car last night?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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