Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
