I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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