just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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