She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
