Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
