My brain says no but my pants say off.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
