I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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