I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
