um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
