yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
