I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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