definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
