I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
