you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
