Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
